oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
