Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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