i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
