just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
