btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
