her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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