i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
