WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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