i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
