I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
be right there i have to get my cape
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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