thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
