He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
