You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
