so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
