were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
