I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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