In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
