Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
