At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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