Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Randomize
