Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
