I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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