At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
