Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
