worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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