i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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