I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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