His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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