I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
as a side note pls kill me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
