meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
