seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
