3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
