So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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