spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
