are you still at the devil's house?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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