I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
