no, he came in my armpit
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
