Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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