i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
