I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize