Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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