I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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