It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just high enough for therapy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
