best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
