just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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