Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
