I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
