I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize