I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize