Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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