she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
