he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize