I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
