it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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