Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
